Our Carnival of Beauty topic this week is “The Beauty of My Life,” hosted by Sallie of Two Talent Living.
Since so much of my life right now revolves around my family and our children’s schooling, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you our educational journey.
It’s funny how the topics that interest me as a parent have changed over the years. Before I had children, there were ISSUES that I thought were truly life-and-death matters. Can you relate?
During pregnancy, I discussed with great passion these topics: will I use a midwife or doctor? Have a homebirth or hospital birth? Prepare for natural labor, epidural, or C-section? Breastfeed or bottle? Feed on demand or feed on a schedule?
Next, I headed into the baby development milestones and toddler years, which is where I still am with some of my children: bedtimes and discipline, what to eat and when, potty training, breaking habits like pacifiers or thumb-sucking, early educational ideas, etc.
Now, I’m deep in the trenches of this issue: how to educate our children. This is a HUGE topic of course — as it covers the ages of at least 3 to 18 for each child. Will we homeschool? Send them to a private school? Send them to a public school?
These are the years we have to do something … to make sure our children are raised to grow in wisdom which comes from fear of the Lord — and also to have the skills and knowledge they’ll need to get along on their own someday.
It used to be easy. There were fewer options. People let their kids all walk to the same school, which was down the street. Now the vast array of options is overwhelming.
Several people have asked me lately about why we homeschooled, and why we’re not now. Well, I don’t want to go into all that in such a public forum, so I’ll just say a few things. From the day our first child was born, I was drawn to homeschooling. I was surrounded by wise, godly families in our church and neighborhood who homeschooled. I hung out in their homes and knew that’s what I wanted for our family.
I read a million books about homeschooling. Well, not a million. But several dozen at least. I went to conferences when our oldest was only four years old! We joined a great local support group, and I went to all the meetings. So, we homeschooled for three wonderful years. But then I needed a break. I’ll spare you the details, but I had a lot of stress going on in my life, and I needed someone to help me out during school hours. The Proverbs 31 woman didn’t do it all either, you see. Our best option was public school, unless I went to work full-time to earn private school tuition, which we didn’t want me to have to do.
Our kids have wonderful teachers, many of whom read my blog, and I’m so appreciative of their sincere commitment to love our children and be a light in the world. I know many of them have strong Christian faith and do the best they can within the parameters of the system to teach our children God’s ways.
Yet … we still take things year by year. Child by child. I miss so many things about pouring my time and energy into homeschooling, and I miss being part of our homeschool group. I really, really, really want our children to have time to take music lessons and play instruments … and I love the Sonlight curriculum. But home educating is a consuming full-time job for me. If we ever did go back to it, I know without a doubt that I would not have time to do any writing from home. And maybe that would be fine. I’ve so enjoyed all the online friendships I’ve made in the past couple of years and working with editors and other writers … but we may be entering another season of change. I don’t know.
I try to think long-term, surround myself with positive people, and take it all step by step. That’s what we do every year. I have a ton more to say, but I’d rather not say it all here in my blog.
Raising children who want to serve God is a serious calling, one that takes constant thought and prayer. As parents, we want to do all we can … but ultimately we have to leave the results up to God and pray for His blessings upon our educational journey.
We’re evaluating our kid’s schooling kid by kid, year by year as well. Like you, we homeschooled for a few years (four) and then needed a break, but things change. Our oldest will be entering sixth grade next year and after that we have serious choices to make as even local teachers have commented that the middle school years are wasted because of kids’ impressionable ages and their peer-driven desires.
Continue looking to God as I know you are. You know where to find me if you want to chat privately.
Brandy of The Building Brows
Comment by Brandy — March 14, 2006 @ 2:10 pm
We each need to really listen and try to separate what our wants are and what God is actually calling us to do. It’s hard, but God will see us through. We are His children and He is educating us.
Comment by flipflop — March 14, 2006 @ 2:40 pm
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Since homeschooling is rare in Japan, I wondered how just a normal mother can be a “teacher” at home. And my biggest question was if it’s possible for mothers to teach their own kids everyday, without being irritated or yelling. If it’s possible, I wanted to know how and try the same. (I always feel that irritation is the most unwanted feeling in my child raising!) But homeschooling seems a time and energy consuming, difficult work although I assume there are a lot of rewarding side, too…
I don’t homeschool here in Japan, but I’m always pursuing ways to enjoy learning with my kids. I posted my thought on this. So anyone who’s interested, come and read it, please
Comment by MomKori — March 14, 2006 @ 5:21 pm
I am a HUGE fan of homeschooling. That said, I don’t know if I could do it. And you’ve nailed it on the head, how I feel, too. Very challenged.
We have two special needs kids, and that adds to the mix. While I think one could do VERY well with homeschooling, the other will need extra help. We have been blessed with a parochial school for the deaf, and I couldn’t be happier. The public school has a good deaf/hard of hearing program, but it’s missing Something. In my 5 yo’s words (he’s my “hearing child”): “It’s not fair you can’t talk about God in a public school!”
Comment by Karin — March 15, 2006 @ 5:37 am
OOH! Nothing against public schools, either. I didn’t mean to offend anyone by my son’s comment. We DO have an amazing public school system in our area, too. Great teachers, challenging classes. I’m keeping that option active in our choices of schooling, very much a reason we bought this specific house, in this specific school district. But given our unique situation, I think we’ve been blessed in a special way, too.
Comment by Karin — March 15, 2006 @ 5:41 am
MomKori
I homeschool my six children ages 17 down to 2. You asked, “And my biggest question was if it’s possible for mothers to teach their own kids everyday, without being irritated or yelling. If it’s possible, I wanted to know how and try the same.”
I have yet to meet any mother homeschooling or otherwise who hasn’t yelled at her children. Not one. That said, irritations are born out of frustration that I’m not getting my way. When I feel like I’m not doing what I WANT to do or have done I get angry. This is from a very self centered attitude and heart.
The quicker I learned that life and my children is NOT about me OR my children’s best interest the easier it became to understand what was the real issue.
In Christ, education is one aspect of discipleship. As a Christian, I believe that I am responsible for the discipleship of my children. That requires me to learn from the Bible what God’s Word says about discipleship. I have written extensively about that on my blog but in a nutshell if we are to become wise the scripture says we must walk with the wise. That the companion of fools suffers harm. It also says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. And a fool says that there is no God. The government schools are not allowed to teach that there is a God and that Jesus is Lord. Without the knowledge and fear of the Lord our children cannot grow in wisdom. The schools teach knowledge but not wisdom.
Like Heather, I desire my children to grow in wisdom. That means they must walk with those that walk in wisdom.
So my personal irritations, or other factors are secondary to my call to disciple in wisdom. I am not bashing the public schools. Parents are free to choose them. God gave us that liberty. But it is worth considering what the scriptures say is true wisdom and how it is acquired.
Does that mean that all teachers or schools are bad. No not at all. It is just that God calls the Christian parent to train the child in wisdom and truth. The foundational truths that our government schools now operate under forbid the teaching of that which is true.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Comment by Spunky — March 15, 2006 @ 9:18 am
Thanks for that post Heather. We are putting our 2 teens into public high school after 8 years of homeschooling. They have a great foundation from it, but we feel led to do this, so it’s kind of exciting. Glad to read your post…it’s encouraging to me!
Christie
Comment by crickl's nIest — March 15, 2006 @ 11:44 pm
Hey Heather – I just want you to know you can e-mail me anytime about this
) I think you already know that we hs?
((HUGS))
Comment by Blair — March 16, 2006 @ 3:42 pm
Heather, I will pray that God directs you. What an awesome task it is to raise children who love God and walk in His wisdom! God bless you. – Donna
Comment by Donna J. Shepherd — March 16, 2006 @ 9:57 pm
Hi Heather, I just wanted to commend you for your bravery in posting this. There is an awful lot of pressure in the God blogosophere for women to homeschool–as if it’s the only theologically correct option–and while I think it can be a wonderful thing, I’m with you in that it totally depends on the family and each child. I appreciate what Spunky said about the liberty we have in Christ–that’s so refreshing after the condemning voices I have heard. I’m going to be blogging a bit about this subject but I’m making sure I do my homework first
Comment by Marla — March 17, 2006 @ 11:49 am