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December 20, 2005

What can I write about “The Beauty of Tradition?” The first thing that comes to mind is the song, Blest Be the Tie That Binds that I sang every Sunday all through my childhood:

Blest be the tie that binds
our hearts in Christian love;
the fellowship of kindred minds
is like to that above.

The tie that binds our hearts throughout the Christmas season is tradition. We celebrate in certain ways during our growing-up years, and then as adults we try to continue these traditions or start something different. For many of us, marriage presents a new challenge, as we blend our own memories and customs with those of our spouse.

It’s easy for some couples to do this, but for others it can cause stress and anxiety, to say the least. The most important thing we can do is to pray and seek God’s will for our own family. This may involve letting go of some activities and clearing the way for new ones.

I’ve blogged about Christmas traditions in several of my posts this month: how we celebrate Advent using a calendar, “Adorenaments,” and daily readings — but I’ve been surprised that the most frequently viewed post of mine has been the family Christmas newsletter. It’s been interesting to see what key words people type in to end up at that post. I have to thank my dad for that — his annual newsletter is a tradition that’s deeply ingrained within me. Some people are annoyed by them; I’m thrilled to read other people’s news.

In our home, one tradition we’ve given serious consideration is what to teach our children about Santa Claus. On Christmas mornings of our respective childhoods, we both woke up to a vast sea of toys! We’d count the minutes until 7 am, then run to the den with our siblings and bask in the thrill of everything our hearts desired. Santa had come!

That’s the way it was in most homes in the 70s. Everybody celebrated Santa. We sang “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and left out plates of cookies and milk. It was fun! It was our American tradition!

But something happened to our hearts when our oldest son was not quite four years old. That Christmas, he started asking us detailed questions. “Daddy, is Santa Claus real? How does he come down the chimney? Can robbers come in our house that way too? How does he get to everybody’s house in one night? How does he know what I want?” And then the clincher, “Daddy, is Jesus real?”

Our hearts froze. We’d always been extremely honest with our intelligent little boy. As a scientist, my husband could actually answer our son’s questions about why the sky was blue and how plants grew. But here — we began to feel convicted in our hearts that we were not being truthful to our son if we told him Jesus was real, and Santa was too.

Now I’m not judging anyone by what they choose to celebrate — you do what you feel is best for your family! But with our children, we don’t make a big deal of it — and when they ask, we say that Santa is a wonderful story, just like Cinderella and Treasure Island — but the story of the birth of Jesus is the only true story. We tell them that Santa is a fun game that people play, and let’s don’t spoil it for other children who play this game. (And we do read them the story of the real St. Nicholas.)

I remember the first year we experienced Christmas when we had two toddlers — as they opened their gifts, they’d run over and put their arms around our necks and say, “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, Mama!” But if the gifts had been from “Santa,” who would they have thanked? And what do you say to children who don’t get everything on their lists? Those tiny white lies must continue: Sorry, Santa had to pick only a few toys for each child. In our case, we’ve always lived on one income — and for many years, in graduate school — so the answer is, “Daddy works very hard for the money to buy you those presents.”

So — that’s how we started a different tradition with our children. I’d love to hear back from you whether you agree or disagree with me. I’m always seeking to improve the atmosphere of our home and to keep the focus on the birth of Christ. Last night at dinner, we were thinking of some new things we’d like to do this year as a family…so I’ll be browsing through Two Talent Living this week for good ideas!

What’s most important is that the ties of tradition bind us closer to the hearts of each other and to Christ, as we celebrate the joy of His birth. May He fill your homes with love this Christmas!

By: Heather Ivester in: Writing | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (7)



Trackbacks & Pingbacks
  1. [...] Tradition is the tie that binds our hearts to each other and to Christ. How can we blend our growing-up memories with those of our spouse, and even start new traditions with our families? Heather at Mom 2 Mom Connection shares what they did in Blest Be The Tie That Binds. [...]

    Pingback by Two Talent Living » Carnival of Beauty - December 21, 2005 — December 20, 2005 @ 10:37 pm



Comments
  1. Amen. Very well said and I like the honesty between you and your children.
    Although Sallie didn’t post the links yet for this topic – I had to sneak-peak and it was well worth it :grin:
    Have a blessed & merry Christmas to you and yours, Heather.

    Comment by eph2810 — December 20, 2005 @ 7:19 pm


  2. Not sure I knew that about y’all! We’ve never celebrated Santa either but instead celebrate Jesus and for several years now Advent. Most people think we’re crazy, so it’s nice to know we’re not the only family… (^o^)

    Comment by HeatherB — December 20, 2005 @ 9:13 pm


  3. A lady at my MOPS group in Ohio saved her christmas letters and then her childrens’ christmas letters in a special binder. She had 30 – 40 years worth of christmas letters–they were fun to look through and see everyone grow. It was also fun to see the change from real cut and paste to copiers to computers!

    I’m saving ours now, and close friends and relatives, I’m sure they’ll be even more fun to look back on after we’ve got a few more and are waxing nostalgic.

    Comment by Elizabeth B — December 21, 2005 @ 10:13 pm


  4. Oh I definitely agree that you are doing the right thing by telling the kids the truth about Santa. We’ve done Santa and the Tooth Fairy but we’ve always told the kids they were just stories and Mom and Dad really put the presents under the tree or pillow.

    So who do they thank when the present says it’s from Santa? They love that because they know the secret so they run over to Mom and Dad and say, “Thanks Santa,” (wink wink). Mine are too old for this now, but they loved it when they were four, five, and six. Made them feel so smart.

    Comment by sally apokedak — December 21, 2005 @ 11:54 pm


  5. Oops. I forgot to add–you made me homesick with Blest Be the Tie that Binds. That was one we sang a lot in my church in Alaska and I miss that church so much.

    Comment by sally apokedak — December 21, 2005 @ 11:55 pm


  6. Hey, thanks for that great idea! As I spend the day wrapping presents I’ll be sure to label some of them from Santa. My sister-in-law’s dad used to shake jingle bells outside the window on Christmas Eve. I may see if my husband can try that too. It’s all part of the magical game!

    And the binder idea is great for saving newsletters — thanks, Elizabeth!

    Comment by Heather — December 22, 2005 @ 7:25 am


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